


We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank

by dontdowhatihavedone



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Alternate Universe- Beauty Pageant, M/M, their names will kill me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-01-24 11:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1603481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontdowhatihavedone/pseuds/dontdowhatihavedone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Eren's opinion, all good love stories should start with a punch in the face and rock music.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Spitting Venom

**Author's Note:**

> I got the prompt "beauty pageant" for Jeaneren from tumblr user kiwininjasuperspy.
> 
> This is all her fault.

Eren Jaeger cursed as the stupid fucking Flappy Bird ate pipe yet again. Someone beside him gave a disapproving cough at the profanity and Eren lifted his head to give them what was surely the coldest glare they’d ever experienced.

As he focused the power of his intense green stare on the offending individual he noticed the guy was wearing a tight black mesh top. That, Eren reflected, was a rather interesting dress choice for tryouts for the Harry Potter club’s Quidditch team (roar roar Gryffindor). Or the guy in gold sequins next to him.

Eren felt weirdly underdressed as he squished his beanie a little tighter onto his shaggy brown hair and considered his own motorcycle jacket, distressed black skinny jeans and Gorillaz tshirt. He also felt horribly out of place.

Like horribly.

Like “oops the tryouts are Thursday and today is not in fact Thursday as I previously thought” out of place.

… Fuck.

Eren unlocked his phone and checked the date. It was Wednesday.

He was considering his options- stick it out a little longer and try to slip out without anyone noticing or just fucking run for it- when a girl with the bounciest auburn ponytail he’d ever seen stuck her head around the door and motioned for him. Eren bitterly cursed his ADHD for his impulsivity as he followed her into a room he recognized as the back of the school’s stage, sitting at the end of the gym where Quidditch tryouts were supposed to be. Dimly he registered the noise of cheering and… was that an announcer? on the other side of the stage door. How he wished for a broom right now.

“Name?” the girl asked, popping her gum.

“Um.” He panicked and word-vomited. “Eren Jaeger.”

“Cool,” she said, scribbling on her clipboard. “Wait here. Walk out when you hear your name called. Bee tee dubs, I love your shirt,” she grinned  before whirling and trotting out of the room.

Momentarily distracted by glancing down to check which shirt he actually had on, Eren missed her exit. “Wait!” he yelped, leaping after her, but the door slammed with a chilling finality.

“Fucking shit,” he said to himself.

Someone behind him snorted.

He spun, hands coming up to take a mock-karate pose at the tall, ash-blond guy leaning in the corner. He was wearing black slacks and dress shoes with a very well-tailored blue button up, a few buttons at the top undone and sleeves rolled up. A black tie hung pulled loose around his neck, and his two-toned blond and brunet undercut was artfully tousled. He raised a thin eyebrow at Eren.

“That’s cute. Are you using that in your act?”

The guy looked sinfully perfect and Eren fucking hated him. Not in like a “oh man I really dislike this person because of this thing they did/said” way but in a “I don’t know this person at all but fuck them into oblivion in every sense of the phrase” way. “Maybe,” Eren said defensively.

The other eyebrow joined the first. “You might wanna decide since you’ll be onstage in five minutes.”

Eren had no response. He said one anyway. “You might wanna decide on your face.”

 “I… excuse me?”

“Yeah, you heard me.”

“Riiiiiiiiiiiight. I dig the uh,” the guy nodded towards Eren’s clothes, “pop punk look you’re going for there.” His tone made it clear he did not in fact dig it at all.

“Hey fuck you. Gorillaz is trip hop.”

Blond Satan raised his hands. “Just sayin’. Interesting choice for a beauty pageant.”

“Says you, Mister Shabs.”

B.S. (Eren was liking this nickname more and more) tugged his tie and smirked. “Everyone’s crazy ‘bout a well undressed man.”

“Too bad the clothes couldn’t fix your horse face,” Eren retorted. The guy’s eyebrows snapped together and he took a step forward off the wall, mouth flying open to protest, but Eren’s brain finally caught up with his mouth. “Hey, wait- beauty pageant?”

B.S. stood in the middle of the room, clenching and unclenching his hands, clearly torn between answering and slipping in more insults or launching a full on physical attack. “Yeah, fuckwit, the beauty pageant you entered and are currently waiting to perform in.”

“Fucking shit,” Eren said again.

Blond Satan sighed irritably. “What’s the problem, shorty?”

“This isn’t Hogwarts,” Eren mourned.

“… Are you on medication?”

“Yeah, actually,” he replied absently, trying to think of a way he could get out of the situation now. Maybe if he could find the girl with the ponytail and clipboard again…

“What, you have performance anxiety?”

Eren glared at him. “No, I’m in the wrong place.”

The Smirk returned. “Suuure.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“It means you’re too chicken to compete now you’ve seen what you’re up against,” he taunted.

Eren snarled. “Excuse you, I would be hotter than you even if I was wearing a burlap sack.”

“Of course,” B.S. said dryly. “Everyone has the hots for a caveman.”

Red started to bleed into the edges of Eren’s vision. “Come a little closer and say that, asshat.”

The announcer’s voice returned and the cheering increased. Most of it was the blurry mush that every announcement someone makes over a loudspeaker turns into, but Eren actually caught the last couple words. “Jean Kirschtein!”

The blond turned and sauntered towards the stage door, pausing with his hand on the knob. “By the way, just out of curiosity, where exactly did your parents meet? Between the glass walls in the zoo?” With a nasty sneer, he turned the handle and stepped through the door.

All the insulting comments the blond- Jean- had made buzzed through Eren’s head like a crowd of angry bees. The sound of the crowd died away beneath the thundering of the blood through his veins. Thoughts melting into a long, angry scream, Eren charged through the door after his new enemy.

 


	2. The Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Some say you're troubled boy  
> Just because you like to destroy  
> All the things that bring the idiots joy  
> Well, what's wrong with a little destruction?"  
> \- Franz Ferdinand, The Fallen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on, all song titles will be linked to YouTube videos of the song. Enjoy!

Picking up garbage from the school grounds, it turned out, was an excellent way to work out excess aggression. Eren imagined every piece of trash as Jean’s stupid motherfucking face and he jammed the sharpened pole through them and flicked them off into the garbage bag he was holding.

He had gotten a referral and community service since, principal Smith informed him, launching yourself at another student and punching them in the mouth is an inappropriate expression of your emotions.

Jean had gotten a referral and community service because punching back and turning a squabble into a full-on fistfight in front of a large portion of the school body is just as inappropriate.

As miserable as the whole experience had been, including the spectacular black eye Eren now sported and his immediate banishment from the Quidditch team and Harry Potter club in general, solace had come in the form of Jean’s flabbergasted expression as his punishment was read out.

It also came in the form of the hundreds of imagined little Jean faces Eren was now systematically stabbing.

“Hey.”

Eren glanced over his shoulder and had to fight the urge to spear the actual Jean face that had appeared behind him. This one had the added benefit of a split lip, courtesy of Eren's own fist. “The fuck do you want?”

Jean scowled and held up his own garbage bag and spear. “Picking up trash, same as you, asshole.”

Eren sneered and turned back around. “Do it somewhere else then, jerkwad.”

There was a short sigh from behind him. “The janitor said I was supposed to help you.”

“Then shut up and start helping.”

“You don't have to be a dick about it.”

“You insulted me!”

“You tackled me in front of the entire school!”

“You deserved it.”

Jean gave a nasty laugh. “Yeah, probably.”

Eren looked at him out of the corner of his eye. Jean had turned away slightly and was stabbing stray bits of garbage of his own. His hair was still that sandy tousled undercut, but it didn’t look intentionally messy today. His slacks and dress shirt had been exchanged for dark jeans, a light green t shirt with an album cover and the words “Modest Mouse,” and a gray hoodie with the sleeves pulled to his elbows. He was wearing beat up old black Converse like Eren’s own red ones. His face was still set in a scowl.

“You look like you just ate a lemon,” Eren blurted.

Disbelieving hazel eyes looked at him. “I… what?”

“Your face,” Eren told him. “Like you ate a lemon.”

There was a moment of silence as the two boys stared at each other.

“It doesn’t anymore,” Eren added helpfully.

 The silence returned.

It was broken as Jean snickered and started to laugh. Soon he was doubled over, laughing hysterically.

Eren tilted his head and wondered if he should punch him again for laughing at him or if he should laugh too. He decided to wait patiently for Jean to straighten back up and wipe the tears from the corners of his eyes.

“You’re really weird, you know that?” Jean told him.

Eren bristled a little. “Yeah, actually, I do.”

He was stunned as Jean just grinned at him and turned back to his work.  They worked in silence for another half hour before Jean spoke again.

“I’ve never seen you in Trost High before, but you don’t look like a freshman. Did you just move here?”

Eren debated engaging in conversation for a moment before his brain reminded him exactly how bored he really was right now. “Yeah, my sister and I moved here with our best friend a couple months ago. I’m a junior though.”

Jean nodded. Eren wondered when he had turned so they were walking next to each other as they worked. “I’m a junior too. What classes are you taking?”

Eren shrugged with one shoulder, spearing a Snickers wrapper. “Major American Lit, Algebra II, Chem I, German III, and US History. I still need to add an elective though…”

“Deadline’s tomorrow,” Jean informed him.

Eren winced. “Yeah, yeah, but I can’t decide what to take. They all sound like bullshit classes to be honest.”

Jean shrugged in response, a little frown wrinkling his brow as he stabbed a smashed milk carton. “Take Drawing or something. At least it’s not totally boring like Study Hall or Tutoring.”

Eren hummed thoughtfully. “Yeah, maybe.”

The taller boy remained quiet.

“What are you taking?” Eren asked him. It definitely was just because he was still bored and definitely not because he was actually starting to enjoy his enemy’s company. He was still the enemy. Mikasa always said that Eren could hold a grudge that would outlive the universe. Armin always pointed out that was actually impossible for a very long list of astronomical reasons that made Eren’s head hurt to think about.

As Jean opened his mouth to reply, a long warcry sounded from the direction of the cafeteria. Eren’s head whipped around, startled. Jean just let out a short sigh and a dry “dear God.”

A streak of auburn and light blue flew towards them. Eren stumbled back in fear, spear clutched tightly to his chest for protection, but Jean just screwed his eyes shut and braced himself. As the blur slammed into him, it materialized into the girl with the auburn ponytail who had taken his name at the beauty pageant. Her arms were wrapped around Jean in a tight hug. Behind her, a short boy with a shaved head and gangly limbs sprinted at a more normal pace across the lawn, puffing as he went.

“Jeaaaaaaaaaan!” the girl whined. “We couldn’t find you!”

He rolled his eyes. “I told you idiots a million times, I’m doing fucking community service after school today. Get the potatoes out of your ears and listen, Spuds.”

Eren blinked at his harsh tone, but the girl just grinned and let go. “You should know we never listen to you when you’re being whiny.”

“You fuckers never listen, period,” Jean retorted as the other kid came up beside them, leaning on his knees to catch his breath.

“We… ran around the whole school…” he puffed.

Jean rolled his eyes and probably would have insulted the kid further, but the girl was looking at Eren. “You’re the guy!” she gasped.

Eren winced a little. “Uhh… the guy?”

“The guy who punched Jean in front of the whole school!”

The new boy looked up fast. “Holy shit! This is the guy?!”

The girl nodded excitedly, ponytail bouncing. “This is the guy!”

Baldie stuck his hand out to Eren, a solemn expression on his face. “I’m Connie, and on behalf of everyone who has to put up with Jean’s shit on a daily basis, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for punching him in the face like I’ve wanted to for years.”

“Seconded!” the redheaded girl chirped, ducking as Jean reached to grab her. She retaliated by poking him in the stomach and sprinting off again. Jean followed, yelling a stream of curses and threats at her.

“That’s Sasha,” Connie told Eren, grinning like one of his friends wasn’t currently trying to kill another.

Eren nodded slowly as he watched the two teens circle back towards them, Jean still fuming. “He’s… not really going to skin her and feed her her own eyeballs, is he?”

Connie considered it. “Probably not,” he decided, “But Sasha would eat the eyeballs regardless.”

Eren was saved from trying to think of an answer as Sasha ran up and danced behind Connie, peeking over his shoulder as she hunched down to take cover. It was Jean’s turn to lean on his knees, panting and glaring at Sasha.

Deciding that her pursuer was incapacitated for the moment, Sasha turned to Eren and smiled. “I voted for you!”

He was confused for a second, grinning as comprehension dawned. “You mean for the pageant?”

She nodded, grinning back. “You had a Gorillaz shirt and you punched Jean. Who could be better?”

Jean lunged again. She danced out of reach, laughing as he finally gave up and collapsed on the damp grass. “I hate you guys,” he snarled, chest heaving.

Connie and Sasha snickered and high fived.

Eren frowned. “He’s being an asshole to you.”

They shrugged in unison. “He’s always like that,” Sasha said.

Connie nodded. “We should know, we’ve known him since sixth grade.”

“How on earth have we put up with him for this long?”

“We are true saints.”

“I’m right here, you fucking dicks.”

“Yeah, we know.”

Eren fought back a smile. He knew exactly how they’d managed him for five years.

Sasha leaned over, red ponytail dangling over her shoulder. “C’mon, grumpy gills,” she said to Jean cheerfully. “We gotta hit the pavement.”

He groaned, still collapsed on the ground.

Connie leaned over next to Sasha. “If you don’t get up right now, I’ll hide an entire can of Pringles by each individual chip in your house and let Sash loose.” His voice was just as cheerful as Sasha’s.

Jean’s amber eyes went wide in horror. “You wouldn’t,” he whispered.

Connie nodded seriously as Sasha giggled next to him. Eren reevaluated, pity for Jean replacing the pity for his two clearly evil friends.

Jean scrambled up, giving Connie a dark scowl and getting a wide grin in response. “You guys are demonspawn. Gimme five minutes, I gotta get this shit back to the janitor.” He kicked his garbage bag and stick.

Eren shrugged. “I’ll take ‘em back if you need to get going.”

Jean gave him a surprised look. “Oh, thanks.”

“Awww, Jean!” Sasha cooed. “Did you make a new friend?”

Eren watched Jean’s cheekbones turn a pale shade of pink as he snapped, “No.”

“My sister says punching people in the face isn’t a very good way of making friends,” Eren deadpanned.

Connie and Sasha grinned again and slung their arms around Jean’s shoulders, nearly having to stand on tiptoes to do so. “Around here, it’s a better method than buying us dinner,” Connie told him. Sasha looked a bit conflicted at that statement, smile slipping briefly.

Jean rolled his eyes, slipping his own hands up to his friends’ shoulders. “Okay, you nerds, let’s roll.”

All three waved to Eren as they walked off, Sasha calling out to him, “Come hang out with us sometime, okay?”

He nodded and waved as they left, collecting Jean’s bag and stick and shuffling everything under one arm as he pulled his phone out. It was already 4:37. He cursed, realizing he was late to meet Armin and Mikasa, and sprinted across the lawn towards the school building.

 

* * *

 

They were waiting for him outside the library, Armin nose deep in a book and Mikasa wearing her earbuds and staring out a window. They turned as Eren ran up, panting. “Sorry,” he gasped.

Armin smiled. “It’s okay, we don’t mind.”

“What held you up?” Mikasa asked, soft voice curious.

“Umm…” Eren wasn’t quite sure how to describe Sasha and Connie. “Making friends?”

They both smiled at him, Armin his wide sunny smile and Mikasa her soft fond one. “That’s great! Who?” Armin asked.

“Couple kids named Sasha and Connie. And Jean,” he added after a second of hesitation.

Mikasa raised an eyebrow. “The boy you punched?”

“Yep.” Eren didn’t offer an explanation and his friends didn’t ask, exchanging a look behind his back and following him towards the front doors. “Oh!” He turned, walking backwards. “Do you guys mind if I stop by the counselors’ office? I want to add Drawing to my schedule.”

“Can you still do that? Isn’t it too late in the school year?” Armin wondered.

He shook his head. “Nope, deadline’s tomorrow.”

“Of course, Eren.” Mikasa gave him another smile. “I’m glad you finally decided on a class.”

“I told you I would,” Eren reminded her, not without affection. “You don’t have to worry about me so much.”

“You punched another student in front of the entire school yesterday,” she reminded him.

He paused. “Well… he deserved it,” he decided, facing forwards and leading the way towards the counselors’ office.

“But now he’s your friend?” Armin clarified.

Eren made a noncommittal noise and wiggled his hand in the air.

“Clears that up,” Armin muttered, walking alongside Mikasa.

 

* * *

 

Levi looked up as that new brat (what was his name? Ethan?) shoved the door to his office open with a bang and stumbled through the door, backpack dangling from one shoulder and customary dark green beanie slightly askew. He waited a second, deciding whether or not his entrance was worth a verbal acknowledgement, before sighing. “What?”

“Hi! Sorry…” The brat seemed a bit off guard. “I wanted to talk to you about adding a class?”

Levi sighed again. “I told you to pick one a week ago. The deadline is tomorrow.” He only got a shrug in reply. “Fine. What do you want to add?”

“Drawing, please!”

Levi rolled his eyes and opened the online master schedule for the school, signing in with his faculty ID and searching for the Drawing I class. “There’s only one class left with a spot, and it’s during fifth period.”

The kid pulled a face. “I have Chem I then.”

“With Nile Dawk?” Levi asked. The kid nodded. He snorted derisively. “He’s a shit teacher. What do you have seventh period?”

“Uh, nothing yet.”

“I’m putting you in Hanji Zoe’s class. Ze’s insane, but ze’s the best chem teacher you’ll ever have.” The brat blinked and nodded. Levi made the changes with a few clicks and muttered curses, asking the brat for his ID number and finding his name to be Eren. He really didn’t give a shit. Finally he nodded and closed the program. “There you go. Go to your new classes tomorrow. Oh, and talk to Hanji early. Ze’ll catch you up with anything you’ve missed,” he added.

The kid gave him a smile, already halfway to the door. “Thanks, sir!”

Levi rolled his eyes again. “Just get the hell out of my office so I can go home.”

With one final grin, the shitty brat vanished, door slamming behind him. Levi waited a second, then went back behind his desk and rifled through the file cabinet containing the folders of students he’d counseled. He flicked through the J’s, pulling out a file labeled “Jaeger, Eren.” Flicking it open, he started to read, grabbing his coffee mug absently.

_Name: Jaeger, Eren_

_Grade: 11_

_Birth date: 03-20-1997_

_Notes:_

_Transfer student at start of grade 11_

_Punched another student (Jean Kirschtein, grade 11) second week of school_

_ADHD, temper issues_

_Distant father_

_Mother died at age 10_

Levi’s notes were always short and to the point. He narrowed his eyes at the page thoughtfully as he lifted his coffee mug and took a sip.

He grimaced. It was stone cold.

 

* * *

 

Eren explained his encounter with Jean, Connie and Sasha to Armin and Mikasa as they waited for the bus. Mikasa nodded as he finished, and Armin smiled at him before digging through his backpack for his book.

“I’m glad you’re making friends, Eren,” Mikasa said gently.

He suppressed a little swell of irritation at her maternal tone. He knew she just wanted to look out for him, but she could be a little overprotective sometimes. Besides, she was always setting her needs aside to make sure he was happy. She needed friends too. “Thanks, Mik. I’ll introduce you guys sometime.”

She nodded, and they all fell into a comfortable silence. Eren plugged in his headphones into his phone and tapped his Favorites playlist. [A Franz Ferdinand song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLkdkMst8j8) started playing, the guitar line making his foot jiggle.

They stayed silent as the bus came and they got on, flashing their ID cards at the driver and settling into the line of seats along the back. The ride only took them about ten minutes before Eren leaned over Armin, who was completely absorbed in his book, to pull the stop cord.

Walking the five blocks to their house, Mikasa and Eren chatted about his new schedule. She kept telling him he should take band, but he shook his head, wrinkling his nose. “Nah, Mik, I hate the way they do guitar in big school bands like that, you know that. At least I won’t get much homework in drawing.”

She sighed, shaking her short black hair out of her eyes and holding her violin case a little tighter. “As long as you’re happy.”

“That;'s what I'm hoping for,” he snorted, bounding up the stairs to their house and digging his keys out of his side pocket. All three of them tossed their backpacks against the back of the couch as they went in.

Eren headed to the kitchen to grab an apple. “When’s dad getting back?” he called to Mikasa, listening to her footsteps thudding up the stairs.

“Next Friday,” she yelled back.

Eren hummed and crunched into his apple. He’d need to go grocery shopping before then.

Armin came into the kitchen, eyes still fixed on his book. Eren ducked his head down and squinted to see the title. _Good Omens_? He’d never heard of it. Armin reached out a blind hand and scrabbled at the fridge door, yanking it open and grabbing the bottle of juice without looking away from the page. Eren watched in fascination from his seat on the counter as the slight blond boy grabbed a glass, poured it, and put the juice back in the fridge all without raising his eyes. He was fairly confident Armin hadn’t even seen him in the room. He finished his apple and tossed the core into the trashcan, wiping his sticky fingers on his jeans as he followed Armin upstairs.

Eren was glad Armin’s grandfather had named his dad, Grisha Jaeger, to be his caretaker after he died. Since Grisha was out of town on business trips all the time anyways after Eren’s mom died, the three teens did pretty well taking care of each other. Especially now that they’d moved to Trost from Shiganshina and Eren and Armin had their own bedrooms. Sharing had been a pain, as hard as they’d tried to get along.

Eren walked into his bedroom and took a moment to bask in the warm glow that comes from having your own private space. It was also the glow that came from unfolded clothes lying in heaps around the edges of the room, a bed with the blankets half torn off and a desk that looked like the site of some horrific office supply store murder. He shoved a couple textbooks off his chair and sat down, opening his laptop and booting it up.

Waiting for everything to load once he’d signed into his user account, he let his gaze drift around the room again. It settled on his guitars, placed carefully on their stands in the corner. The small amp next to them had a stack of t-shirts that were semi-folded. He reminded himself to actually put those in his dresser at some point.

The sight of his guitars made him think of (what else?) music, and that reminded him that he hadn’t heard much of that band whose shirt Jean was wearing earlier. Laundry forgotten, he turned back to his computer and opened up YouTube, settling his headphones over his ears. He typed in “Modest Mouse” and scrolled down the page of results, clicking randomly on one titled [“Modest Mouse – Dashboard.”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=penvn9VL32Y) A drum beat sounded like a pulse as the guitar line started.

After that song finished, he clicked on a suggested video of a song titled [Dramamine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TK1bi4emEkk), then [Float On](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTAud5O7Qqk) (which he recognized from the radio), and then [Little Motel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8coOFGTguo).

He liked this band, Eren decided. Clicking the full album video for [We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDjlsQ2bwPo), he leaned back and closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, that was kind of a lot of links right there at the end.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading! Feedback would be super duper neat because that lets me know how you guys think I'm doing.


	3. Staying Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hot cup of tea, it's four o'clock in the middle of the night, and I can't sleep  
> It's all on the peak, so bad I can taste it while it eats me
> 
> How can I sleep if I don't have dreams?  
> I just have nightmares  
> How can it be?  
> I still believe something is out there."  
> -The Neighborhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song titles are links to YouTube videos of the song

He was running down a white hall. The end, marked by a set of black double doors, sped towards him, but his feet weren’t going anywhere and he wasn’t moving as the door got closer and he could see the thick chains and padlocks wrapped around the handles but there weren’t handles anymore and the doors were a coffin and he fell into his mother’s grave-

Eren’s eyes flew open and his arms scrambled to grab onto something as he threw himself backwards. He slammed into his headboard with a painful thump, echoed by his heart slamming against his ribs. He felt faintly sick, trembling and sweating as he tried to calm his breathing and racing pulse. A glance at the clock beside his bed told him it was a little before five in the morning.

Eren scrubbed his hand through his hair and blew out a long breath. He was no stranger to nightmares, but that had been the worst one he’d had in a while. He ground the heels of his hands into his eyes and briefly considered going back to sleep. A coffin lid flashed behind his eyes and he winced, pressing against his eyes until silent yellow-white stars burst behind his lids. No more sleeping tonight.

He rolled out of bed, movements a little shaky still, grabbing his phone and headphones before easing his door open and padding down the stairs as quietly as he could.

Shuffling into the kitchen, he refilled the electric kettle and flicked the switch. He grabbed a mug and a bag of irish breakfast tea from a cupboard as he stifled a yawn with a hand. Leaning against the counter, he slipped his headphones on and opened up the music app on his phone, scrolling down to [Staying Up](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uco1JQRVqrA).

His shoulders relaxing, Eren shoved his phone into the pocket of his plaid flannel pants and turned back to his mug, dumping the tea bag in and following it with a couple spoons of sugar and some milk. He watched as the milk started to soak into the tea bag, remembering how his mom always insisted that putting in the cream and sugar first was the right way to make tea and how she would set him on the counter next to her when she made them tea on rainy afternoons, eyes warm when she smiled at him…

Eren shook his head violently, clenching his hands on his crossed arms. Six years later and it still hurt too much to think about her some days.

He waited for the kettle to boil, pouring it into the mug and stirring carefully (“See Eren, this way everything mixes better! Don’t make it like Daddy, okay? This is the best way…”) and plopped down at the little kitchen table, staring blankly at the table as his headphones started playing [Afraid](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrWwtU7iyl0).

He sat there for a few minutes, hissing as he scalded his tongue on his tea when he tried to take a sip too soon, before getting up and padding into the living room to grab whatever book Armin had left lying around this time. _Good Omens_ was lying on the coffee table. Eren snagged it, careful not to disturb Armin’s bookmark, and went back to the kitchen, sitting down at the table and starting to read.

An hour and a half later, Mikasa came thumping down the stairs, winding her favorite red scarf around her neck as she ran her free hand through her glossy black hair. She paused briefly as she saw Eren sitting at the table with his empty mug. “Bad dream?” she asked after a second.

Eren just hummed in reply. She already knew what it was about.

She studied him for a minute, silent, before walking behind him and wrapping her arms around his back in an uncharacteristically touchy-feely moment. He smiled and slid a hand over the ones she rested on his chest. She let go after a few seconds, moving to the coffee maker that rested beside the electric kettle.

“You should get ready, Eren.”

He hummed again, although this time it was in annoyance. He didn’t want to leave his book.

Armin came down the stairs, yawning so widely Eren thought his jaw might break. He gave the little blond boy a smile, getting a baleful blue stare and a grumpy “harrumph” in response. His smile widened into a grin. Armin hated mornings.

His friend sat down from him across the table, a box of Cheerios in one hand and a bowl in the other. He looked even more irritated as he realized he didn’t have a spoon or milk. Eren set his book down and stood up before he could, snagging the milk, two spoons and another bowl. Mikasa popped a couple slices of bread into the counter, checking the progress of the coffee maker.

Eren felt something in chest grow warm as he thought about how well the three of them worked together. They didn’t need to say anything to each other because they already knew everything they might have to say. He smiled down at his Cheerios, glancing at Armin poking his breakfast with a spoon and a surly expression, and Mikasa snatching the coffee pot from the base as soon as it had finished brewing and pouring herself a cup, sighing as she wrapped her slender hands around the warm ceramic.

He wolfed down his cereal and refilled his mug with coffee before walking back up the stairs, leaving his headphones and phone on the table downstairs. Back in his room, he pulled on his favorite pair of dark wash jeans, buckling his belt as he grabbed a light gray t-shirt and yanked it over his head, taking his dark green hoodie off the hook behind the door and grabbing his favorite green beanie before he headed into the small bathroom to brush his teeth. After the rough start to his morning, he just wanted comfy warm clothes to get him through the day.

Thundering down the stairs again, Eren found Mikasa and Armin waiting for him by the door. He grabbed his backpack and phone before following them out of the house, chuckling to himself as Armin stifled another yawn.

He had never regretted anything more in his life than taking Algebra II first period. Nothing could ruin a day better than complex fraction equations at eight in the morning. German III, Major American Literature and U.S. History following didn’t put him in much of a better mood as the bell rang for lunch. That coupled with Armin and Mikasa skipping lunch with him to go to Harry Potter club made his mood turn as stormy as the clouds outside. What a great fucking day this turned out to be. Maybe he should have just stayed in bed.

His temper frayed even further as he shoved his way through the crush of people towards the cafeteria doors and realized that he was going to have to try and find a table to eat at alone since he didn’t really have any other friends besides Armin and Mikasa yet. He was just about to turn around and find a stairwell to sit in or something when he heard a familiar squeal and a cry of his name. He turned to find Connie and Sasha hurrying towards him, both grinning at him and waving. Despite his bad mood, he found himself smiling back as they stopped in front of him.

“Hey Eren!” Connie greeted him. “Whatcha up to?”

He shrugged in reply. “Finding somewhere to eat lunch, I g-“

“Perfect!” Sasha cut in, brown eyes sparkling.

They each grabbed him by an elbow and unceremoniously steered him into the noisy cafeteria. Eren felt vaguely like a prisoner being marched to the gallows.

 

* * *

 

Jean sighed as the spiky wheel killed him yet again. He closed Temple Run and checked the time. Connie and Sasha were late again, surprise surprise. He looked up from his phone to scowl at the surrounding crush of students, hoping they’d show up soon so he wouldn’t have to stand here alone near the cafeteria entrance like a loser.

Just as he was composing a text to Connie, he heard Sasha’s familiar cry of “JEAAAAAAAAN!” He looked up to see his two best friends hurrying towards him, Eren in tow. He felt a moment of pity for him before he remembered his split lip.

Still, the kid kind of looked like crap. He was pale and had huge dark circles under his eyes (and not just from the shiner Jean had landed on him), and even though he looked as irritated as he normally did, he lacked his usual high-energy presence.

Jean decided to ignore Eren for the moment in favor of teasing his friends. “Where the fuck have you been?” he asked with a mock scowl. They were the only ones who could tell his real frowns from his fake ones.

“Trying to avoid your dumb face,” Connie snapped back, equally fake. Eren still frowned a little, looking uncertain.

Jean gave all three of them a genuine smirk as he shoved his phone into his pocket, nodding at Eren. “Sup.”

He blinked before giving a tired half-smile in response. “Hey.”

Eren followed as they walked towards their normal table, where Jean could already see their other friends sitting. As they wove between their fellow students, he reached over and tugged Sasha’s ponytail gently. “How was math today, Spuds?”

She rolled her eyes comically and launched into a lengthy description of how terrible her teacher was and how much she hated him and the subject in general. Connie sniggered and ducked as she waved her arms in distress over complex fractions.  Jean, safely walking behind her, grinned at her dramatics. Eren laughed as she pretended to stagger into Connie. Jean turned his smile over his shoulder at him. Eren grinned back.

Connie and Sasha flopped onto the bench of their usual table, Jean sitting down next to them a little more carefully. Eren looked lost for a second until Sasha gave him a smile and patted the seat next to her. He returned the smile gratefully as he sat.

Across from them, Reiner broke off from the conversation he was having with Bertholdt and Ymir to examine him. “Welcome, fresh meat!” he boomed.

Jean winced. “Christ, Reiner, don’t blow the poor kid’s eardrums.”

Reiner just laughed at him.

Jean scowled and ignored the blond senior, pulling a sandwich out of his backpack as Reiner asked Eren his name. “Eren Jaeger,” he replied, giving everyone a little wave and that little half-smile.

Ymir turned to him, interest painted across her freckled face. “Hey, aren’t you the kid who punched Jean?”

Jean snarled at her.

Eren spared him a glance before responding. “Uh, yeah, I am.”

Annie and Christa, sitting at the end of the table, leaned forward. Bertholdt kept shooting Jean and his grumpy expression nervous glances.

“Sooo?” Ymir asked. “Why’d you do it?”

Eren’s eyebrows twitched together. “Well, he was being kind of a dick,” he said flatly.

Jean shot him a glare. “You were being the dick.”

“I wasn’t doing fucking anything, asswad.”

“Exactly. It’s shocking how annoying you can be even when you’re not doing anything.”

Eren looked like he was about to punch him again. Instead he just closed his eyes and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Please fuck off.”

“Gladly,” Jean grumbled back, taking a bite out of his sandwich. He didn’t really know why, but the kid managed to push his buttons constantly.

Eren rolled his eyes and pulled a bagel out of his bag, tearing into it. Sasha and Connie munched on a bag of potato chips she had pulled out of somewhere, watching their argument with interest.

“You know,” Sasha remarked to Connie, crunching down on a chip, “I don’t think anyone’s annoyed Jean this much since he first met us.”

Connie nodded sagely. “Three days and he’s already broken our record. What a travesty.”

Sasha sighed, reaching for the bag again. “I guess we’ll just have to try harder,” she said mournfully.

Jean whipped his head around to narrow his eyes at them. “Don’t you fucking _dare_.”

They grinned back, smiles full of pure evil. Eren snickered behind them.

“So Eren,” Reiner said, watching Jean glare at Connie and Sasha with no small amount of amusement, “where are you from? You’re new, right?”

Eren nodded. “Moved here with my sister and best friend from Shiganshina a couple months ago. Well,” he scowled briefly, “with my dad too. He’s not around much.”

Reiner nodded, not asking further. “Why did-“

“Where’s your mom?” Jean interrupted, taking another bite.

Eren looked at him, green eyes hard as emeralds. “She’s dead.”

The table went silent for a second. Jean swallowed slowly. “… Oh.”

He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “She got ovarian cancer when I was ten. By the time they found it, it was too late.” He looked back down at his bagel, face pale.

“I’m sorry,” Jean said quietly.

Eren gave that little shrug again. “It was a long time ago.”

“I was still an asshole for bringing it up. Sorry.”

Looking back up at him, Eren gave that little half-smile again. “You’re always an asshole though.”

Jean snorted, but he still smiled back. “True.”

He looked up to see everyone else looking at him with identical expressions of disbelief. “… What?” he snapped, an uncomfortable prickle running up his neck.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you apologize to anyone,” Reiner said.

He scowled again, but he could feel the prickle turn into heat and seep into his cheeks. “Whatever,” he mumbled.

“… So where’s your sister and friend then?” Christa asked, breaking the shocked silence.

Eren frowned. “Harry Potter Club,” he sighed, sounding almost… wistful?

“Oh, I went to that a few times last year!” Christa chirped. “They totally got me wrong though. Put me in Hufflepuff. I’m a Slytherin through and through.”

Eren blinked at the sweet, bubbly blonde girl. “Uhm… that’s too bad?” he offered.

Ymir slung her arm around her girlfriend’s shoulders. “I went with her. At least they put me in the right house,” she grinned.

Christa pouted. “We should have been in it together.”

Ymir’s expression softened as she looked down at her. “And that’s why we quit, right?” Christa nodded, smiling back.

Jean rolled his eyes. “Get a room, you two.”

“Don’t be jealous just because that hot new girl shut you down,” Ymir shot back, not looking away from Christa’s big blue eyes.

Jean grumbled. Connie looked at him questioningly. “Hot new girl?”

This time Ymir did turn, malicious grin back in place. “Oh yeah. Saw him get turned down this morning. Looked pretty rough.”

The blush was back. “Look, I was just asking if she wanted to get coffee sometime, okay?!”

“And she turned you down for that?!” Connie crowed. “Damn dude! That’s harsh. Who is she?”

Jean shrugged. “She’s in my AP Lit class. Her name’s Mikasa.”

Eren choked. “YOU ASKED MY SISTER OUT?!”

There was another moment of silence. “Oh shit,” said Reiner.

“M-MIKASA is your SISTER?!” Jean gaped.

Eren stood up, green eyes blazing. “YES, YOU ASSWAD.”

“How the fuck was I supposed to know that?” Jean shouted back.

“Oh, I dunno genius, maybe since I TOLD YOU I MOVED HERE WITH HER.”

“She looks nothing like you!”

“SO?!”

“So how was I supposed to know?! Plus, it’s not like I was asking her to have a threesome with me, Jesus! And she didn’t even accept!”

“Yeah,” Eren shot back, “she has these things called standards.”

That stung, for some reason. “Hey, you little fuckwit-“

Sasha leapt up as Jean stood and flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him down into a hug. “Shhhh,” she soothed.

Jean snarled. “Sash, get off me.”

“Not until you calm down, mister,” she snapped back. He sighed in resignation and slumped against her. “Good.” She let him go, patting him on the back first, and sat back down sedately. Eren sank back into his seat too, though his eyes were still hot. Jean shot one last scowl at him before sitting back down and picking at his sandwich.

After a beat, Reiner struck up a conversation with Ymir about how set construction for the new play, for which she had been assigned to be the lead builder, was going. She grimaced. “I’ve got a load of fucking idiots who don’t know which end of a fucking hammer to use trying to build a set completely on wheeled platforms so the whole thing can be spun. How the fuck do you think it’s going?”

Reiner grinned. “Can’t wait to see the performance. It’s four weeks away, right?”

Ymir moaned and dropped her head into her hands.

As Christa set about patting her shoulder and speaking words of encouragement into her ears, Connie leaned towards Reiner. “How’s football going?”

Reiner perked up like a massive bodybuilding puppy. “Fantastic!” he thundered. Jean blinked and wiggled a finger in his ear, testing to see if it still worked. “I think we really have the Titans whipped into a great team this year!”

Connie took his hands off his ears. “That’s great, man,” he said, looking sorry he’d asked.

Sasha and Connie started a conversation about Pokemon XY and the pros and cons of it versus the previous Pokemon games, a conversation which quickly drew in everyone else at their table, including the normally taciturn Annie. It slowly built until it turned into a full on shouting match over who was better between professors Oak and Sycamore.

Eren, who hadn’t joined in the discussion, leaned behind Connie and Sasha- who were screaming about how Oak was a classic childhood figure- to hiss at Jean, “Is it always like this?”

Jean hadn’t joined in either. Obviously Oak would always be the winner. “Usually,” he replied, watching Sasha threated Reiner with various kinds of torture.

Eren grinned. “Perfect.”

Jean’s stomach did something weird at the sight of his smile.

Must have been a bad sandwich, he thought, pulling his phone out to check the time. He avoided eye contact with Eren as he stood, tapping Connie and Sasha’s shoulders to get their attention. “Time for class, nerds.”

They turned. “Right,” Sasha huffed, still glaring at Reiner.

They all turned to leave, waving at their friends. “See you later, Eren!” Connie called over his shoulder.

“You should sit with us again!” Sasha added.

Eren’s mouth pulled up in his little half-smile. “I don’t think I’d miss it for the world.”

Jean snorted a laugh as they left the cafeteria, Sasha and Connie turning to wave at Eren again. The three of them walked down the hall towards the art wing, avoiding a student whose locker had apparently been stuffed with shredded newspapers.

Halfway there, Sasha glanced over her shoulder. “Oh, hey. You still here?” she asked someone behind them. Jean turned to see Eren.

“Um, yeah, I guess,” he said a little awkwardly.

“Where you going?” Connie asked.

“Drawing I. Room… uh…”

“721. You’re shitting me,” Jean said.

Those green eyes blinked at him. “No?”

“That’s our next class!” Sasha smiled brightly at him.

He blinked again, mouth dropping in surprise. “You’re shitting _me_ ,” he echoed.

“C’mon!” Connie dragged him up to walk next to them. “We get to be art buddies together!”

“Fantastic,” Jean drawled.

Sasha nudged him on one side. “Don’t be such a Debbie Downer, Grumpy Gills!”

Connie nudged him from the other side. “You know what they say. When life gets you down, you gotta..”

“Just keep swimming!” Eren broke in, laughing at Jean’s glare.

“Don’t encourage them,” he pleaded as his friends broke into song on either side of him.

Eren threw his head back with a laugh. Jean swallowed hard and looked away as his stomach gave another churn. Maybe I have a flu, he thought to himself as he pushed the door open to the art room.

As Jean, Connie and Sasha settled themselves at their normal table next to the windows, Eren went to the front to talk to the teacher. He was an old guy with a massive white beard, who Jean was pretty sure didn’t know any of his students in his class anyway and wouldn’t have cared if he suddenly had one more. He shoved a black sketchbook into Eren’s hands and waved him away.

Eren dropped his book down on the table in the seat next to Jean. Connie and Sasha were speaking whale at each other now across from them, interrupting themselves to laugh maniacally.

“Please save me,” Jean muttered to him. Eren just snickered in reply.

Their teacher stood up long enough to tell them that today’s project would be self portraits, however you wanted to interpret that, before vanishing into his office.

Jean opened his sketchbook and scowled down at it thoughtfully. Across from him, Sasha bounced up to get the oil pastels, Connie to get a set of colored pencils. Jean thought for a minute before grabbing some charcoal from the supply closet and sitting back down. He ignored his stomach as it lurched again when Eren’s elbow brushed his after he’d returned from retrieving a set of graphite drawing pencils, and brought the charcoal down on the page.

They were actually surprisingly quiet as they worked, Connie and Sasha occasionally looking over each other’s shoulders and offering comments. About twenty minutes in, Sasha asked Eren what his favorite class was. He looked up from where he was carefully sketching lines across the paper. “Probably Chemistry,” he said after a moment of thought. He frowned suddenly. “Although I transferred to a different class yesterday and I haven’t had that teacher yet.”

“Which?” Sasha asked, selecting a green pastel.

“Hanji, I think.”

She nodded excitedly. “Ze’s a fantastic teacher!”

“Oh, cool,” Eren said in relief.

Jean glanced up. “I’ve heard ze can be a little… crazy.”

“I think ze only set the lab on fire like, once,” Connie pointed out.

Jean nodded. “True.”

Eren looked much less relieved.

Sasha asked him a few more questions while they worked. “What was Shiganshina like?”

“Boring and small.”

“What are your friend and sister like?”

“Quiet, smart. Kinda not like me at all, but I guess we all live together pretty well.”

“What do you think you’re gonna do after high school?”

“Mm, probably not college. I don’t do school very well.” He frowned at his page, erasing a line he just drew before glancing up at her. “So what about you?”

“Me?” she asked, surprised.

“Yeah. I mean, all of you really. Like, what are your guys’ stories?”

“Oh, um… I live with my dad. We moved here five years ago from a tiny little town called Dauper. I guess my favorite subject is… English?” she said, raking her colorful fingers through her ponytail. “I like the readings, I guess.”

Eren nodded, glancing over at Connie before looking back to his drawing.

He shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess I have kind of a normal life. Single child, mom and dad still together and all. Or... I guess it was normal until I met these two,” he grinned, jostling Sasha with his elbow. “My favorite class is probably… math.”

Sasha narrowed her eyes at him. “Traitor.” Connie held his hands up in surrender.

Eren turned his gaze to Jean, green eyes curious. He seriously should go to a nurse because there’s no way this many stomach flips can be healthy. “I live with my mom and little sister. Favorite class is…” He thought for a second. “Eh, probably this one.”

“Oh yeah!” Sasha piped up. “I change my favorite class to this one!”

“Me too!” Connie said.

Eren chuckled, going back to his portrait before asking Jean “where’s your dad?” without looking up.

Sasha and Connie both looked back down at their sketchbooks too, uncharacteristically silent and eyes dark.

Jean swallowed and shrugged, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. “Left before my sister was born.”

“Asshole,” Eren said flatly.

He shrugged again. “I don’t really remember him enough to say.”

Sasha made a small noise across from him and he looked up in time to see a pastel break in her fingers. “… Sorry,” she mumbled. “I’m gonna go get another one.” She stood up without looking at any of them, walking across the room to the supply closet. Her shoulders were curiously tense. Jean wondered idly if she might have the same flu he seemed to have.

“What’s your sister’s name?” Eren asked, pulling his thoughts away from Sash.

He smiled at his drawing. “Addie. Well, technically Adelaide, but she hates it when people call her that. She’s in eighth grade,” he added.

He saw Eren smile out of the corner of his eye. “Cool.”

Sasha sat back down, smile back on her face. “You guys finished yet?” she asked.

“Basically,” said, and held up his drawing.

Jean burst into laughter. He’d drawn the Incredible Hulk with his own face on it. “Perfect,” he snorted. Sasha was doubled over on the table. Eren had thrown his head back again, shoulders shaking as he laughed.

Sasha straightened back up, wiping tears from her eyes. “Here, here, look at mine,” she gasped.

Jean leaned over and started laughing again. She’d drawn herself as Tinkerbell with an assault rifle in one hand, a grenade in the other and a pair of Ray Bans. A little banner underneath said “LIKE A BRAUS.”

Connie howled and Jean held his ribs as they started to ache. Eren laughed so hard he had to put his head down on the table. “Like a Braus?” Jean panted, trying to catch his breath. “That’s terrible.”

Sasha was starting to tear up again. She could only nod in reply, gasping for breath. “It’s terrible and you wish you’d thought of it first,” she finally choked out. Connie went into another fit beside her.

“I kinda do,” Jean admitted.

They all calmed down after a couple minutes. “What about yours?” Sasha finally asked, nodding at Jean’s book.

He hesitated before holding it out to the two across from him. They looked at it for a second, completely quiet again. Connie’s eyebrows drew together. Sasha’s face remained curiously blank.

“… That’s really good,” Connie said finally, voice quiet and serious.

Eren frowned. “Can I see?” He took the book as Connie held it out to him and spent a couple minutes looking it over.

Jean suddenly felt terribly self conscious. He had drawn himself in a slightly cartoonish style, because he couldn’t do realism for shit, but looking down and away at a three-quarters angle. The near side of his face was heavily shaded, only a few chinks of light catching his cheekbone and lighting up his eye. The other side of his face was bright, but his expression was dark. Everything behind him was shaded in a gradient with nearly pitch black at the left and white on the right. From the left side, dark claws grasped towards his face. On the right, soft hands were held out to him, palm up, like they were offering him something.

Jean cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair nervously. “I don’t know, it might be kinda weird…”

“I like it,” Sasha declared, eyes hard and expression determined. Connie nodded wordlessly beside her.

Eren finally looked up at him. “It’s really good,” he said softly, handing the book back. Jean almost jumped when their fingers touched.

“What about yours?” Jean asked, wanting to pull the attention off himself.

Eren slid it over to him wordlessly. Jean’s eyebrows drew together as he looked at it.

It was a pencil rawing of a young boy from the back. He was kneeling in front of a gravestone. Behind the stone, shadows stretched out to form the silhouette of a woman reaching down to touch a boy’s face.

Jean swallowed hard. He handed the book across to Sasha and Connie without looking at them, fixing his eyes on his own drawing instead. He didn’t see their expressions, but there was a moment’s pause after Sasha handed the book back to Eren before she asked, “Can I give you a hug?”

Eren nodded, looking a little surprised. Sasha stood up and walked around the table to lean down and hug him tightly. He blinked, but wrapped his arms around her and squeezed in return. Letting him go, Sasha walked up behind Jean and hugged him too, letting her forehead rest on his shoulder. He craned his neck to look at her, surprised, reaching up and squeezing the arms she had wound around his chest.

“I love you, you dork,” she mumbled into his hoodie.

He tightened his hand around her wrist. “I love you too, Spuds,” he whispered back. She let go and pulled back, brown eyes bright, before giving him a shaky smile and walking back to her seat.

They all sat there awkwardly for a second before Eren announced, “This sucks. I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”

Jean huffed a laugh. “I think I took care of that first.”

Sasha sniffed. “You’re both dorks. Eren, do you have any pets?” she asked, clearly changing the subject.

He smiled and went with it. “No, but I really like animals.”

They started talking about their various pets, Sasha with her two cats and Connie’s golden lab. When Eren asked Jean if he had any pets, Sasha snickered quietly and Connie fought back a grin.

He sighed. “I have a Chihuahua named Norman.”

Eren cocked his head. “I… what?”

“He’s a Chihuahua and his name is Norman,” he grumbled. “Addie picked the name when she was, like, nine.”

“… And she decided on Norman?”

Jean winced. “Uhh… I may have watched Psycho with her recently without our mom’s permission.”

Eren looked dumbfounded for a second before bursting into laughter. “That’s the best pet name I’ve ever-“

The bell rang.

“Shit,” Jean hissed, jumping up and shoving his sketchbook into his backpack.

They packed their supplies up and fled the room, Connie and Sasha waving as they hurried off to Physics. Eren looked at Jean. “What class do you have now?”

“Free period,” Jean said, heaving his backpack higher up on his shoulder. “I’ll probably just go to the library.”

“Cool, me too,” Eren said. He covered a yawn with his hand- which was still covered in graphite smudges- and frowned. “I think I’m gonna go get coffee though.”

Jean nodded, and hesitated. “Actually… mind if I tag along?”

Eren shot him a playful glare. “What, you can’t get coffee with my sister so you’re settling for me?”

“What?!” Jean yelped, feeling a blush spread over his cheeks. “No! I was just-“

“Dude, relax,” Eren said, raising his eyebrows. “I was kidding.”

“Oh… well yeah. Of course you were.” Jean shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets, remaining stubbornly silent as they left the school building and started the four block walk to the nearby Starbucks.

Eren didn’t seem to mind, tilting his head back to the gray sky and blowing out faint clouds of breath. He yawned again, releasing a plume of steam into the chilly fall air.

“Didn’t get much sleep?” Jean asked, mostly to break the silence.

Eren nodded. “Nightmare,” he explained, kicking a pebble. It skittered in front of Jean so he kicked it again. They played gravel soccer until Eren kicked it particularly hard and it bounced into the gutter.

They came up to the corner of a busy street. Eren wasn’t paying attention and almost stepped off the curb right as a car whizzed by. Jean threw his arm out to stop him with a shout.

Eren glanced down at the hand splayed across his chest. “Um,” he said at length.

Jean snatched his hand back hurriedly.

A dark brown eyebrow rose at him. “Did you just mom me?” Eren asked.

“I… No?” Jean tried to deny it.

“You totally just mom’d me.”

“I can’t help it, I have a little sister!” he defended.

“You mom her a lot then?”

“Uhh…” Addie would kick his butt if he tried. “Yes?”

“You don’t sound so sure about that.”

“Shut up, the light’s green,” Jean muttered, walking fast across the intersection. Eren had to jog to catch up with his longer legs.

“Slow down, you horse!”

Jean glared at him from the corner of his eye. “What did you just call me?”

Eren grinned back. He got a little crinkle on his nose when he smiled that wide, a small voice in Jean’s brain noticed. “You heard me.”

“Whatever, you little... corgi.”

“Excuse me?!”

Jean chortled and broke into a run. He heard Eren’s footsteps pounding behind him.

They ran the rest of the block to Starbucks. When they got there, Jean absentmindedly held the door for Eren, who gave him a weird look as he passed. They ordered and waited for their coffees- a mocha for Eren and a caramel macchiato for Jean- at a little table in the corner. Eren had pulled out his phone when he got a text notification, tapping a message out and waiting for one to come back. Jean listened to the song playing, [that José González song from that new Walter Mitty movie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXHXvUB4oCU). He tapped his finger along with the drum part idly. He looked back where he had been staring out the window at Eren, who was staring straight back at him.

“You like this song?” Eren asked.

Jean shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

He nodded. “You were humming along,” he told him.

Jean paused. “… Oh.”

The corner of Eren’s mouth twitched up. “You didn’t realize?”

He ran a hand through the longer hair on the top of his head. “I guess not,” he admitted.

Eren listened to the song for another second. “I think [Dirty Paws](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrWd0m7pmq8) is my favorite from that soundtrack,” he said, sounding more like he was talking to himself than Jean.

He quirked an eyebrow at him. “The lyrics don’t make sense.”

“A mocha and a caramel macchiato!” the girl behind the counter called as she slid their cups onto the counter.

“I got ‘em,” Eren said as he slipped from his seat. He put the cups down on the table when he returned, sliding back into his chair and sniffing at the opening in the lid before taking a sip and letting out a long, satisfied sigh. “Lyrics don’t have to make sense. I feel that song on a higher level.” He paused. “And I like the guitar in it,” he admitted.

Jean nodded. “Not enough people use acoustic anymore.”

“Right?!” Eren exclaimed, leaning forwards. “As much as I love electric, acoustic is so much more… I dunno, emotional? If that makes sense.”

Jean nodded. “Exactly. It’s like a piano versus a keyboard.”

Eren cocked his head. “Do you play?”

“Yeah, since I was… seven I think,” Jean said. “I play both, but I like the piano sound more than the keyboard. Unless I want a special sound effect on it.”

Pulling his beanie off and ruffling his dark brown hair, Eren nodded.  “I can’t say I’ve been around that much piano. Mikasa plays violin.”

Jean whistled, leaning back in his chair. “That must be annoying.”

“I don’t mind it too much,” Eren shrugged. “I’m just glad it isn’t flute.”

Jean laughed.

They chatted for another twenty minutes before Eren looked at his phone and announced that he should be getting back for his next class. Jean nodded and stood, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “Me too.” Eren followed him out the door. They were quiet again on their walk back.

 Walking back into the school, Eren gave him a wave and turned down the hall towards the science wing. “See you later!”

“Bye!” Jean called after him. He watched his green beanie vanish into the mass of students swarming out of their classrooms as the bell rang. It took him a second to start moving again, heading down the hall towards his AP U.S. History class.

He wrapped both hands around his coffee cup to protect it from the students surrounding him, furrowing his brow and thinking hard. He was pretty sure he had just made a friend.

Too bad their friendship started with punching each other in the face.

 

* * *

 

Eren pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. The last period of the day had ended five minutes ago, although he’d gotten out early when Hanji cheerfully evacuated the chem lab after a student accidentally created the most magnificent plume of purple smoke and white sparks he’d ever seen. Hanji’s customary and vaguely insane grin hadn’t even slipped as ze thanked the student for the marvelous learning experience about the combined powers of magnesium, iodine, and a poorly placed Bunsen burner.

Now he was standing in the performing arts wing, waiting for Armin and Mikasa so they could pick up her treasured violin from the band room and get home. Even though he’d gotten coffee with Jean- and he was trying to ignore how weirdly and somehow excitingly that had felt like a date- he was still exhausted. Leaning against the wall, he noticed the door on one of the small practice rooms across from him was open. In one corner, a drum set stood. Across from it, a black electic guitar leaned on a stand.

Eren’s fingers itched.

He glanced around. Everyone else had left a couple minutes ago.

He looked back at the guitar. It was practically beckoning to him.

Taking a final look around, he slid into the practice room and padded across to the guitar. He hesitated one last time before picking it up, sliding his fingers along the neck reverently. He twanged the strings gently, noticing how perfectly tuned it was, before sliding the shoulder strap over his head and settling it. It was a little too high, but he wasn’t about to readjust it.

He strummed it one last time before pressing his fingers to the frets and launching into the guitar line from [Creepin’ Up the Backstairs.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T547vDMPpJ8) It was one of his favorites to play, especially since it swung back and forth between bouncy and dark. He played the song out before slipping the guitar off and turning to leave. No one would be the wiser.

He froze.

Sasha and Connie were leaning against the inside wall, arms crossed. Jean was leaning in the doorway, profile sharp against the fluorescent lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really happy about ending it there but this chapter is already almost six and a half thousand words so I'll just try to get another chapter up soon
> 
> Also sorry for all the emotions? Not quite sure how that happened
> 
> ALSO also in case y'all didn't know I have a tumblr over at dontdowhatihavedone.tumblr.com where I can answer questions or you can send me comments or read my really over-emotional tags about Jean's face (plus if enough people are interested I could start putting up progress reports or update reports or headcanons that might not make it into the fic or stuff? Idk)
> 
> Also also ALSO I have finals coming up so even though I want to get the next chapter out soon it may come after I study for my astronomy final
> 
> Okay... I think that's it for now. Thanks for reading, everyone!
> 
> EDIT: Yeah definitely not gonna get a chapter up this weekend, but hopefully by next Saturday one will be up? Hopefully?


	4. Shake me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Walk around the corner,  
> Never saw it coming still,  
> I try to make a move,  
> It almost stopped me from belief,  
> I don't wanna know the future,  
> But I'm like rolling thunder,
> 
> Even on a cloudy day."  
> -Cage the Elephant

“He’s good,” Sasha said finally.

“He sounded good,” Connie agreed.

She shook her head, brown eyes fixed on him. “No, I mean he’s really good. Better than me.”

Connie raised an eyebrow at her. “But you’re really good.”

She nodded.

His other eyebrow jumped up to join the first one. “Wow.”

“What were you playing?” Jean asked, not looking at Eren.

“… [Creepin Up the Backstairs by the Fratellis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPIz_1on-ec),” he replied, a little disgruntled that everyone was acting so weird. He carefully replaced the guitar on its stand before turning to face them all and holding his hands out. “Well, thank you all for acting so magnificently creepy about a guy playing a guitar, but I’ve gotta go.”

“You walked into a random room and picked up someone else’s guitar,” Jean pointed out. “You’re lucky Sasha isn’t peeling the skin from your face.”

She pouted. “I would never do that!” A considering look on her face, she examined Eren carefully. “I might pull out a few of his fingernails at most,” she decided.

“How gracious of you,” Jean said drily.

“So is he in?” Connie interrupted.

Eren buried his head in his hands. “Will someone please actually talk to me?” he half-shouted to the floor.

“Sure.” Eren looked up to meet Jean’s tawny eyes. “Wanna join our shitty little band?”

 

* * *

 

Jean watched Eren’s green eyes go wide.

“Shitty is a little harsh,” Connie muttered next to him. Sasha made a little noise of agreement and jammed an elbow into Jean’s ribs.

“Ow,” he hissed, glaring at her. She ignored him, more interested in watching Eren’s shocked expression.

Still holding his side, Jean turned his attention back to his new… friend? Sure. Friend. His eyes were flitting between them, still wide. “Are you serious?”

Jean shrugged, wincing at his side twinged. “Yeah, why the hell not? You sounded pretty good. Hey, why the fuck didn’t you tell me you can play guitar?” he added.

It was Eren’s turn to shrug. “It didn’t come up.”

“We were discussing the finer points of acoustic versus electric and you thought it wasn’t worth mentioning you could play?”

He scratched the back of his neck. “I dunno, I didn’t think it was important.”

“When did you guys talk about that?” Sasha asked, glancing between them.

“We got coffee during sixth since we both have free periods,” Eren told her.

“Awwww,” Connie cooed, throwing an arm around Jean, “Look at you! You actually are making friends!”

“Get off, Connie,” Jean groaned, feeling his cheeks heat a little.

“Anyways, my answer’s yes,” Eren broke in, smiling his crooked smile again.

Sasha bounced on her feet. “Really?!”

Eren’s expression soured. “Well, since _someone_ got me kicked out of Harry Potter club, I’m free for the rest of the year.” He glared at Jean.

Jean narrowed his eyes back. “As I recall, that had more to do with the fact that you punched me in the face in front of the entire school.”

Eren snorted. “Whatthefuckever.”

“Eren!” he heard from down the hall. He looked at him, cocking an eyebrow.

He grimaced. “Shit.” Pushing past Jean he called down the hall. “Mikasa!” A choir girl standing in another room gave him an annoyed glare. Eren returned it with a fake smile and a middle finger.

A girl with glossy black hair and a small blond kid rounded the corner, hurrying towards Eren. Jean recognized the girl as Mikasa, Eren’s sister and the girl he had fruitlessly tried to ask out. “Sorry we were late,” she apologized, glancing at the three other teenagers standing behind her brother.

Eren gave her a quick smile and a one-armed hug. “It’s fine.”

The blond boy raised an eyebrow at him and nodded to his friends.

“Oh. Mikasa, Armin, this is Connie, Sasha and Jean. Guys, this is my sister and my best friend,” Eren introduced, waving a hand vaguely. He talked with his hands a lot, Jean noticed.

Mikasa was looking at him with her beautiful dark eyes. “I think I’ve met Jean already,” she said.

Awkward. Jean felt his blush return. “Yeah. Um, hi.”

There was a long pause.

“So I joined a band,” Eren blurted out.

Armin and Mikasa stared at him.

“My band,” Jean interjected from behind him, then spat out a curse as Sasha punched him in the ribs again.

“Our band, Hedgehog,” she corrected cheerfully.

“When I need surgery to replace my shattered ribcage I’m sending the bill to you, Spuds,” he shot back.

She blew him a kiss.

Armin cleared his throat and smiled at them. “Sorry, I hate to run out on you guys, but we’ll miss our bus soon if we don’t leave.”

Eren pulled his phone out of his pocket, frowning as he saw the time. He opened his mouth to say something, but Sasha snagged his phone out of his hands and started tapping away. “There’s my number!” she grinned, handing it back to him. “I’ll text you Connie and Jean’s numbers later.”

“Thanks!” Eren called as Mikasa tugged him away. Their hurried footsteps disappeared behind the sound of the band wing door slamming shut.

Sasha punched the air in triumph. “New friend!” she crowed.

“New guitarist!” Connie added.

They chest bumped. Jean watched them skeptically.

“What’s eating your butt?” Connie asked him.

Jean shrugged. “We don’t even really know the guy. Regardless of his playing skills, he might suck as a band member.”

“We tolerate you though,” Connie deadpanned. Jean scowled at him.

Sasha waved a hand in front of her, turning back to the practice room. “You worry too much. It’ll be fine.”

He shook his head and followed them in, closing the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

Jean kicked the front door to his house open, keys in one hand and backpack in the other. “I’m home!” he shouted.

Addie poked her ash-blonde head around the kitchen doorway. “Mom’s at work,” she said, pulling a spoon out of her mouth.

He grimaced. “Figures.” Tossing his backpack on the couch, he wandered past his sister, ruffling her hair as he went. She scowled and smacked his hand away. “Whatcha making?”

“Mac n cheese.”

“Sweet.” He checked the clock and winced when he saw it was after 6:30. “Sorry, I should’ve come home earlier.”

“It’s okay,” she replied, pulling a noodle out of the pot and blowing on it. “You were with Sasha and Connie, right?” She stuck the pasta in her mouth, hazel eyes bright.

“Yeah.” Jean pulled the fridge open and grabbed Coke.

She nodded. “Get into any more fights today?”

He cracked the can and took a long swig. “Nope.”

“My god,” Addie said drily. “This might be a new record.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “Hey, I’m the sarcastic one in this family.”

She stuck her tongue out at him. He snorted in response and was just opening his mouth to ask how her day was when his phone started blasting “[I FOUND YOU, MISS NEW BOOTY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAb0IxMs4Ik).”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “God dammit, Connie,” Jean snarled as he pulled his phone out. Without looking up, he pointed a finger at his sister. “Don’t curse.”

“You’re a shining role model.”

He ignored her in favor of checking the Facebook notification that had set his phone off.  Apparently Sasha had added him to a group message with Connie and Eren. He silenced his phone before shoving it back in his pocket. “I’m gonna go upstairs, ‘kay? You got this?”

“Yeah. It’s just mac n cheese,” his sister replied, putting the strainer in the sink and turning the burner off.

He ruffled her hair again and kissed the side of her head on his way out of the kitchen.

“That’s gross!” she shouted after him.

“You’re telling me!” he yelled back.

“I’ll eat all your macaroni, you butt!”

“Not if you want me to wash the dishes!” Jean closed the door to his room before she could reply, flinging himself down in his desk chair and opening up his laptop. Facebook was already open, along with iTunes and Steam. He clicked play on his music while he waited for the page to refresh, starting [Breezeblocks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqJhd9M7Zdk) a few seconds in. When Facebook finally reappeared, a chat box popped up in the corner.

**Sasha Braus has renamed the group BAND BUDDIES**

**Connie Springer has renamed the group BEST BAND BUDDIES**

**Sasha Braus has renamed the group THE MUSICAL AVENGERS**

**Connie Springer has renamed the group THE MUSICAL JUSTICE LEAGUE**

**Sasha Braus has renamed the group LONG LIVE MARVEL WE ARE THE MUSICAL X-MEN**

**Connie Springer:** i can live with that

**Sasha Braus:** good because its staying

**Eren Jaeger:** do you guys even have a name for your band?

**Connie Springer:** its in debate

**Sasha Braus:** junkyard skunk mob

**Connie Springer:** YES

**Jean Kirschtein:** fuck no

**Jean Kirschtein:** also fuck you connie i told you to stop fucking with my phone settings

**Connie Springer:** you gotta stop leaving your phone where i can steal it man

**Connie Springer:** also that one was sashs idea

**Jean Kirschtein:** im gonna kick your ass spuds

**Sasha Braus** : ;*

**Jean Kirschtein:** i hate you all

**Eren Jaeger:** hey whatd i do??

**Jean Kirschtein:** punched me in the face?

**Eren Jaeger:** you dserved that

**Jean Kirschtein:** see why i hate you all?

**Sasha Braus:** words hurt

**Connie Springer:** so tsundere

**Jean Kirschtein:** my god youre a fucking nerd

**Connie Springer:** sing the soul eater theme song for us jeanny

**Jean Kirschtein:** THAT WAS ONE TIME ND I WAS DRUNK

**Sasha Braus:** hahahahahahahaha

**Connie Springer** : im never deleting that vid

**Jean Kirschtein:** shut the fuck up

**Jean Kirschtein:** you guys good for practice tomorrow?

**Sasha Braus:** yep

**Connie Springer:** hella

**Jean Kirschtein:** wow youre a dumbass

**Eren Jaeger:** where and what time?

**Jean Kirschtein:** my house at 2

**Jean Kirschtein:** oh my address is 2746 oak

**Eren Jaeger:** cool

**Eren Jaeger:** what should i bring?

**Sasha Braus:** electric guitar, maybe an acoustic if you have one?

**Eren Jaeger:** i have both and a bass

**Sasha Braus:** i can get bass

**Eren Jaeger:** k

**Connie Springer has renamed the group JUNKYARD SKUNK MOB**

**Sasha Braus:** LONG LIVE JSM

**Jean Kirschtein:** jesus fucking christ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you may be thinking "did I just wait ten weeks to read a really pointless and incredibly short update?"  
> The answer to that is that I am a piece of shit.  
> I am so sorry you guys. There were finals and then I was out of town and then out of town again and then I've been job hunting and getting hired and doing training and in between all of that I was trying to write this chapter and for WHATEVER REASON I really hate this one.   
> But seriously, all of my apologies. As I just mentioned I do have a job now so I might be busier, but I'll try to update more than once every three months.
> 
> As always, feedback is super duper appreciated and can be given either here or over at my tumblr (it's the same username).

**Author's Note:**

> Work title is from a Modest Mouse album. Chapter title is a song from said album.
> 
> Whoops this is really short. I kind of word vomited this (literally, I was sick) so it might change, and I really don't know how long this will be, so... let's find out together?


End file.
